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“Though I didn’t know it, I was in a dangerous place now. Having determined that this world was the only one I had–or would ever have–here I was, in conscious mistrust of its core. And on the other hand, it had been confirmed that the outside world, the one that I had been trying to escape into since I could walk, was not my home either. I was a misfit in both places. The only true home I had was inside the notes of music, inside the all-consuming world of white ivory keys and their black flat and sharp companions.”………….
The passage above comes early in this book, thoughts from a 14-year-old Adelaide. Being raised in an ultra-conservative home where a girl/woman’s hair was a glory to God, where dancing was not allowed, public bathing (swimming) was not allowed, as well as so many other “thou shalt nots” (as I call them). From such an early age she wanted to run away and explore, calling herself a gypsy; yet she was stuck in a home with an overbearing mother and father who was emotionally absent most of the time. What she knew to be HER truth and what she was being raised with conflicted on a daily basis, and she found solace and place of “belonging” in her music. I too shared this kind of confusion in my childhood faith and struggle in my home and solace in my music….. this was just many of the similarities between Addie and I that I found between the covers of this book!
This book is such a beautiful and heart-warming journey “Walking From Religion to Spirit” (as the cover of the book says). Isn’t this what this blog is all about? Well kind of anyway, right? I, too, was raised in a conservative Christian home. Though admittedly I was allowed to wear what I want, dance, swim and certainly didn’t have any rules in my house. The only rules in MY house were that you were to be a God-fearing, tongues speaking, baptised Christian. Scratch that, these rules weren’t the rules of my house, but they were certainly the rules for ME. My brothers didn’t have to live by these same rules. I’m not sure why, but as I read this book and even typed that last sentenced, it dawned on me that possibly the reason that I was the ONLY child out of 4 that was supposed to live by these rules is because I was closest to my mother and I was expected to be a shining light for her. (Mother daughter issues…….this book is filled with them!)
Anyway, back to the book. I LOVED it! I love the history behind the words. I love the visuals created by the words. Every time I turned a page, I felt like Addie could have been telling my own story from Religion to Spirit. I even learned a bit bout my own father and the way he must have been raised (though Addie is nearly 20 years older than my dad would have been today). More than just her spiritual journey, there are a plethora of insights into being what I call a “sacrificial mom” (or even wife)…of being that care taker. I found myself self saying out loud…”Hey, Addie! That is what I am dealing with right now!!!! Thank you!!!”
All the way through I kept thinking how incredibly blessed I am to have Addie as a member of my church. This book was released on her 90th birthday…at my church. Even though I have been attending this church since January, I had never met her until purchasing her book and having her sign it. When I smiled and wished her a “Happy Birthday” I had no idea just how much this book would mean to me and how it would touch my life! Now all I can think about his how truly blessed I am to have such an amazing woman and possible friend in my church. I can’t wait to send her a card and thank her personally!
Addie’s story is such a blessing and inspiration to all women out there searching for their spiritual path…for all moms out there who give so much to their families…for all the wives who just might give too much of themselves to their husbands….to women who suddenly find themselves empty-nesters and wondering what the heck to do next! For all the women out there who say, “I’m too old to do this…..” you should read this book!
Have you heard the saying, “the only thing constant in life is change”? Addie’s book is a perfect reminder of that. As a matter of fact, one of my favorite quotes in the book says, “For me, the status quo, however appealing, never shone as brightly as the radiance of change.” You get to follow her journey as she moves from parsonage (the home of a pastor) to parsonage and finally to her own homes. You get to follow her journey that starts in New York and ends in Idaho and takes you places in between. You get to cry at the unfairness of abuse, face fear in the face of disease, revel in the feeling of first love, feel the darkness of depression and the climb back out to light. You get to sit with Addie at the bedside of her loved ones as she says goodbye, and you get to say goodbye too. You get the thrill of not just becoming a mother..but of becoming a grandmother AND a great-grandmother! This book is a fascinating and exciting read!
I find myself having a hard time sharing what I have learned from this book, but I will say that there are no coincidences in life…….and just as Addie mentions being led to our church (CSL) for a reason (this book), I feel as though I have been led to CSL for a reason…one of them being this book!
I will close with this thought. Lately, I have been feeling “old”. I’m only 41. Yes, this is young. I never felt old until I started in a sport where the women start retiring in their mid to late 30’s and I was just getting started! Trying to get onto a Roller Derby team at the age of 41 seems kinda crazy. And with my new schedule, I will be 42 by the time I can get drafted! That is even crazier! Then to add salt to the wound I was inflicting upon myself, I started to read a book on menopause. The book is written by one of my favorite, entertaining local authors, but the idea of me going through menopause just made me feel even older! I had to stop reading it. The next book I picked up was this one, and towards the end of the book, there is this great quote from Addie reminding me that 41 is still very young! “The new energy breathed into my home lifted my spirits and supported the feeling that, at the age of eighty-three, I was entering the best era of my life.”
Go, Addie, Go!!!!
The 2nd chapter is titled “Who’s Helping?” Again, I found some very profound thoughts/lessons/reminders in this chapter.
As some one how is passionate about being of service, I am constantly volunteering in organizations. However, being of service does not need a formal job or position. I like the word “help”; it is broad and allows the opportunity to be of service even in the simple act of supporting someone who is going through a rough time. Anytime we give something of ourselves we are being of service. I guess I just never really thought of it that way until this week.
Currently, I know two people who are going through some major legal issues in a very public way. One of them is James Arthur Ray recently arrested/charged with 3 counts of manslaughter when 3 of his seminar attendees (one of them being my friend Liz) passed away during his sweatlodge in October 2009. The other person is Laura Silsby who is my husband’s previous employer; she was arrested and charged with Kidnapping in Haiti when she was taking 30 “orphans” across the Haitian border to the Dominican Republic. It has been an interesting time in our house watching these two cases progress, and in the case of James Arthur Ray, it has been heart breaking for many reason.
There are a couple of quotes in this chapter that really resonated with me regarding my feelings and my sense of service about these two cases:
“So often we deny ourselves and others the full resources of our being simply because we’re in the habit of defining ourselves narrowly and defensively to begin with. Less flexible, less versatile, we inevitably end up being less helpful.”
“When our models of who we are fall away, we are free simply to meet and be together. And when this sense of being encompasses all–one another, the park, the rain, everything–separateness dissolves and we are untied in compassion.”
There are alot of James Ray’s students who became angry and outraged by the deaths of our friends and by our perception of the way James handled the sweatlodge and what happened after the event. Shortly after the event, the “warriors” (what James’ students called themselves) were split in 3 different camps. Those who staunchly supported him. Those who were adamantly against him. And those who walked both sides of the fences in the middle. As for myself, I have visited all 3 of these camps; I now stand firmly in the middle.. a place of compassion, peace, understanding, love.
In regards to the first quote, I believe that the 2 camps that are on both extremes the James Ray issue do so in a defensive thought and action. While standing in those two camps, we become less flexible. It is not until we let go of our “models of who we are” that we can stand together and really HELP James (and everyone involved, including the families of he deceased). For that matter, as long as we stand defensively, we can’t even help ourselves and heal. When we realize that we are all connected and none of us are separate, then we allow love to flow and HELP and HEALING can truly begin. The same can be said for Laura Silsby and her team of volunteers who wanted to help the Haitian children.
It is not up to us to stand in judgment and or defense. It is not helpful. If we truly want to HELP those affected by both of these situations, then we must let “the models of who we are fall away” and find ourselves free to meet in the middle.
The God Project 